20 funny Colombian expressions and what they mean

Like any other language, Colombian Spanish has its own slang and expressions when spoken in informal environments.

We all know that Colombians love to talk and to make jokes. Thus, it should come as no surprise that our (informal) language reflects it.

If you are interested in Colombian culture you shouldn’t only learn Spanish, you should learn our most common slang and expressions.

It will help you understand better the conversation with your Colombian friends and, above all, it will make you laugh!

In our previous posts, we wrote about the most common Colombian slang. If you haven’t read them yet, don’t worry! Catch up with our previous post here:

In this post we go a level higher, we talk about funny expressions that are commonly used in Colombian Spanish.

Learn these expressions and impress your Colombian friends!

How to speak like a Colombian: 20 funny Colombian expressions and what they mean

1. “No le cabe ni un tinto*”

Colombian Slang: No le cabe ni un tinto

Literal meaning: There won’t even fit a “red wine”*

Slang meaning: When a place is so crowded that not even a cup of coffee can make it in.

*Remember that only in Colombia, “tinto” refers to black coffee, instead of red wine

2. “Como Pedro por su casa”

Colombian Slang: Como Pedro por su casa

Literal meaning: Like Peter in his own house

Slang meaning: It is used to describe someone impertinent who has entered somewhere without permission. Or to describe a person who moves with ease in a place that is not his or her own.

3. “Las cuentas claras y el chocolate espeso”

Colombian Slang: Las cuentas claras y el chocolate espeso

Literal meaning: Clear accounts and thick hot chocolate

Slang meaning: Short reckonings make long friends, accounts settled and old friends, let’s get things clear, let’s keep the books straight

4. “Lo que no mata, engorda”

Colombian Slang: Lo que no mata, engorda

Literal meaning: That which does not kill, fattens

Slang meaning: It means that even if your food falls to the ground the worst thing that can happen after eating it is getting fat.

5. ¿Durmió conmigo anoche o qué?

Colombian Slang: ¿Durmió conmigo anoche o qué?

Literal meaning: Did you sleep with me last night, or what?

Slang meaning: It is used when someone enters a place without greeting.

6. “Tengo un filo, que si me agacho me corto”

Colombian Slang: Tengo un filo, que si me agacho me corto

Literal meaning: I have a blade, if I bend over I cut myself

Slang meaning: It means that you are very hungry! Getting to the point you are “Hangry”

7. Uyy, ¿quién pidió pollo?

Colombian Slang: Uyy, ¿quién pidió pollo?

Make sure you say a long “uyyy”

Literal meaning: Uyy, who ordered chicken?

Slang meaning: It is used to joke around or flirt with friends when someone handsome/pretty approaches you or passes by.

8. “No me abra los ojos que no le voy a echar gotas”

Colombian Slang: No me abra los ojos que no le voy a echar gotas

Literal meaning: Don’t open your eyes like that I am not going to put eyedrops on them

Slang meaning: It is used when someone doesn’t like you -or doesn’t like something you said-. Then he or she rolls his/her eyes and gives you “that” look.

9. ¿Qué come que adivina?

Colombian Slang: ¿Qué come que adivina?

Literal meaning: What do you eat that you guess?

Slang meaning: It is used when someone guesses what you are thinking or what you are about to say.

10. “El que tiene tienda que la atienda”

Colombian Slang: El que tiene tienda que la atienda

Literal meaning: The one that owns a store, attend it

Slang meaning: It has two meanings. It means you must be in charge of your own things. It is also used to say to someone that he or she should look after his or her partner.

11. “Le cuento el milagro pero no el santo”

Colombian Slang: Le cuento el milagro pero no el santo

Literal meaning: I tell you the miracle, but not the saint

Slang meaning: When people are gossiping they would use it. It means they would tell you the “secret” or the “gossip” but not who told them.

12. “Colgó los guayos”

Colombian Slang: Colgó los guayos

Literal meaning: (He or she) hang the soccer shoes

Slang meaning: This expression is used to say that someone died.

13. “¡Que entre el diablo y escoja!”

Colombian Slang: ¡Que entre el diablo y escoja!

Literal meaning: Let the devil come and choose!

Slang meaning: It is used when you have two options but you don’t like any. Basically, you are screwed either way.

14. “Es pan comido”

Colombian Slang: Es pan comido

Literal meaning: It’s an eaten bread

Slang meaning: It’s a piece of cake

15. “Virgen del agarradero (agárrame a mi primero)”

Colombian Slang: Virgen del agarradero (agárrame a mi primero)

Literal meaning: Virgin of the handgrip (grab me first)

You can say only the first part “Virgen del agarradero” or the full sentence “Virgen del agarradero, agárrame a mi primero”

Slang meaning: When you are afraid about something, it’s a funny way of saying “oh my God” or “God, save me!”

16. “Más aburrido que mico en un bonsái”

Colombian Slang: Más aburrido que mico en un bonsái

Literal meaning: More bored than a monkey in a bonsai tree.

Slang meaning: It means that you are absolutely bored, there is nothing to do.

17. “Más largo que una semana sin carne”

Colombian Slang: Más largo que una semana sin carne

Literal meaning: Longer than a week without meat

Slang meaning: Colombian cuisine is meat-based. By meat (carne in Spanish) we mean beef, pork and chicken.

So, having a whole week without eating any kind of meat would be a tourture for most Colombians. So, this expression describes something that is interminably dull.

18. “Más raro que un perro a cuadros”

Colombian Slang: Más raro que un perro a cuadros

Literal meaning: Weirder than a checkered dog

Slang meaning: It is used to express that something or someone is very weird

19. “Más prendido que arbolito de navidad”

Colombian Slang: Más prendido que arbolito de navidad

Literal meaning: More lit up than a Christmas tree

Slang meaning: It is use to say that someone is very tipsy, but not drunk yet

20. “Lo que le diga es mentira”

Colombian Slang: Lo que le diga es mentira

Literal meaning: What I tell you is a lie

Slang meaning: It is used when someone asks you a question and you don’t really know the answer.

Learning Colombian Spanish is so much fun!

These funny expressions won’t only impress your friends; it will also help you make new friends. Colombians love when people get interested in their culture.

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